tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post175814055738180451..comments2023-09-20T04:22:39.836-07:00Comments on Bitches in Blue: BATTERED MEN AND WHY THEY STAY WITH THOSE CRAZY BITCHESBitches In Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00507192694942217353noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-55645170085427261572009-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:002009-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:00CRAZY IN THE HEAD....... CRAZY IN THE BED...... YI...CRAZY IN THE HEAD....... CRAZY IN THE BED...... YIPPEE!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-8077253473228771272009-02-25T04:56:00.000-08:002009-02-25T04:56:00.000-08:00A good solid post as usual. Having worked closely ...A good solid post as usual. <BR/><BR/>Having worked closely with women's refuges for many years I tip my hat to these workers. True here in UK too, re male victims. Very few support agencies other than Victim Support (national registered victims charity - a broad `church`). I'll do a post soon on some UK DV.Hogdayafternoonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06188146617570775741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-14078731368938860582009-02-22T21:33:00.000-08:002009-02-22T21:33:00.000-08:00off topicthanks to the bithesinblue for donating t...off topic<BR/><BR/>thanks to the bithesinblue for donating to st baldricks for mia.<BR/><BR/>it's great to see our fellow ladies/officers out here. be safe.leomemorialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08900801115718730523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-66448307003369120042009-02-22T10:09:00.000-08:002009-02-22T10:09:00.000-08:00Early Warning SignsFemale domestic violence begins...Early Warning Signs<BR/><BR/>Female domestic violence begins just like its male equivalent - with the first slap, punch or hurled object. But if the victim's a woman, she will view this first violent act as a very serious sign that there's trouble brewing. A man will tend to play down the incident or tough it out, often making a joke of it. Take action with the first slap. Don't be melodramatic or wait until things have started to cool down. It's important to act decisively. Explain that you don't like being hit - just like you imagine she wouldn't enjoy it.<BR/><BR/>Look for reasons for her behaviour. Was it a stressful time? Did it occur because you made a cutting or insulting remark? Did it happen because something you did annoyed her? Was it alcohol-related? Was it due to anger over a past relationship or does it stem from a history of violence in her family?<BR/><BR/>Research shows that domestic violence is often the product of a violent upbringing. Explore all these avenues, decisively and precisely, and then let it rest. But let her know that the first slap was taken very seriously indeed.<BR/><BR/>If it happens again, there is a risk of a pattern being established and even more decisive action must be taken. If you spot a trend appearing, make sure you discuss it.<BR/><BR/>To ensure that she knows how seriously you view the second incident, it may be time to consult her family. It may be embarrassing for her, but if you have a good relationship with her side of the family, it may help pinpoint a problem.<BR/><BR/>Three strikes and you're out. Domestic violence escalates quickly and if matters become really heated, you too will be drawn into the violence, to the point that you'll be tempted to strike back. Under no circumstances retaliate.<BR/><BR/>After a third incident it's time to consult a counsellor. Get the violence out into the open with someone outside the family circle, irrespective of how embarrassing it is for your partner. This also creates an important legal precedent.<BR/><BR/>No matter how remorseful your partner appears after the event, don't let her off the hook. Keep working at the problem and repeatedly stress that it shouldn't have happened in the first place. If the violence escalates to the point where you become concerned for your safety or that of your children, it's time to take the most drastic step of all - a domestic-violence order. This puts the matter in the hands of the police and courts and brings home the reality that she is on the verge of being criminally charged. If matters have degenerated to this stage, counselling is a must and you may have to consider temporarily leaving the relationship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-59369113828061125162009-02-21T08:26:00.000-08:002009-02-21T08:26:00.000-08:00I applaud you discussing a problem that most peopl...I applaud you discussing a problem that most people won‘t even acknowledge exists. I have known 2 different men in my lifetime that have lived in a situation where the wife was abusive both emotionally and physically. When they tried to escape the wives claimed they were the ones being abused. The husbands were arrested, fired from their jobs and their lives ruined. <BR/><BR/>Society still stereotypes men as the one with the emotional and physical strength in a relationship. The prevailing notion is we’re all John Wayne and we don’t take that crap from anyone. People look at those men and ask how a man could be battered, how could he allow that to happen, why doesn’t he leave, etc…<BR/><BR/>At times, men just as women stay in bad relationships for a lot of wrong reasons. Many times it’s fear of reprisal, loss of their children, threats of more violence or arrest, the fact that actually love their abuser and hope they can do that one thing that makes them happy.<BR/><BR/>Abuse is a knife that cuts both ways. Unfortunately justice isn’t blind enough yet to see.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-80217658847681122962009-02-20T19:06:00.000-08:002009-02-20T19:06:00.000-08:00I was in an abusive relationship for 8 1/2 years. ...I was in an abusive relationship for 8 1/2 years. My marriage started out well, but as my wife became more successful in her career, she also became emotionally abusive and controlling. The emotional abuse escalated into physical abuse, and I remember the first time she threw a remote control into my head, I felt devastated. That abuse escalated to punching, kicking, breaking wine glasses over my head, and eventually she attacked me with a butcher knife. I felt ashamed to let anyone know, and felt trapped in the marriage because she made more money than me. As her success grew, she quickly forgot how I wrote all of her papers in college and helped promote her career. She thought she was superior to everyone including me. I tried to get us both in counseling, and she refused. The abuse became so unbearable, that when she took a trip to Mexico, I left her and filed for divorce. When she returned from the trip and found the divorce papers, she tried to reconcile only to put me back into the abusive cycle. Through the support of family and friends, I had the strength to break away. It has been 10 months now, and I am finally starting to heal. I am an ex special forces operative for the US military, and have a Masters degree. I am successful in my own right, but I always thought that things would get better even though they kept getting worse. I have never hit a woman, but had to restrain my ex when she attacked me with the knife. It bruised her arms, and she claimed that I hit her. Although the cops were never called, (Thank God), her sister who is a cop encouraged me to leave. I still feel somewhat humiliated considering my background, but trust me when I tell you that wife abuse and battered husband syndrome are real. On several occasions after she kicked the heck out of me, she would say who is going to believe that an ex-special forces trained soldier is getting beat up by his petite little wife. Thank the good lord that I finally came to my senses and left.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-4786657100560283782009-02-20T18:50:00.000-08:002009-02-20T18:50:00.000-08:00http://home.earthlink.net/~elnunes/pamph1a.gifWhat...http://home.earthlink.net/~elnunes/pamph1a.gif<BR/><BR/>What a man should doAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135021354613685046.post-81171388963760084192009-02-20T18:36:00.000-08:002009-02-20T18:36:00.000-08:00My wife—in one of her drunken rages—took our daugh...My wife—in one of her drunken rages—took our daughter’s baseball bat and used it to smash the locked door to my study, where I was trying desperately to meet a deadline. And since I’m over 6 feet tall and muscular, I wouldn’t get much sympathy posing as a “battered man!”: I had thought of calling the police that night. When I recalled this incident to my divorce lawyer some time later, his response was: “It’s a good thing you didn’t, because the police probably would have arrested youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com