Friday, February 20, 2009
BATTERED MEN AND WHY THEY STAY WITH THOSE CRAZY BITCHES
a surprising number of domestic violence episodes do involve women as the aggressors, creating a new category of victim known as the battered husband. A battered husband suffers the same emotional, verbal and physical abuse as a battered wife, but is less likely to report these crimes to authorities.
The relationship between a battered husband and his abusive spouse can be very complex. A battered husband often employs the same defensive tactics as a battered wife, including denial, withdrawal and disconnection. The shame of owning up to a spouse's abusive behavior could cause a battered husband to defend her around others. Some excuses may be that his own actions triggered her violent response, or she's only reacting to post-natal stress. Denial can be a powerful coping mechanism for a battered husband, especially if he dreads the idea of having meaningful discussions with his abusive spouse.
Another characteristic of a battered husband is the tendency to disconnect from his own domestic problems. A battered husband will often spend more and more time at work, or take up a hobby outside of the home. In order to avoid potential conflicts, a battered husband may decide to sleep in the family car or spend his waking hours in a private den or office. A violent spouse may also be abusive towards children, either in the form of physical attacks or excessive punishments for minor infractions. A battered husband could remain in the abusive home strictly to protect his children from further abuse.
A battered husband may also find it difficult to pursue legal remedies against an abusive spouse. A number of states have domestic violence laws requiring law enforcement officers to arrest at least one of the combatants if physical injuries are visible. A battered husband may have been the victim of severe mental and emotional abuse for hours, but one defensive slap could tip the balance in the abusive spouse's favor. Enforcing a temporary restraining order against an abusive wife could also become problematic for a battered husband, especially if children are involved.
There are a number of support groups dedicated to sufferers of "battered husband syndrome." These groups also provide online information for men who may want to break away from a violent relationship but fear the aftermath. Some studies suggest that over 800,000 men become victims of domestic violence every year, but only a fraction ever report the abuse to authorities. Many men fear the social stigma of admitting they were powerless against a violent spouse, or the loss of meaningful time spent with their children following a divorce.
Bitch2 : I went to a domestic call yesterday and the man that answered the door had bruises on his face & body he stated that he had called the police on his wife and that this wasn't the first time she went CRAZY and hit him . By no means was this guy a wimp, he has a good career and had been in the military even risking his life in Iraq last year. Looking into his eyes you could see a broken man, embarrassed & humiliated by the women he married the women who quote "loves" him. This was such an unusual call because it almost always the abused wife not husband but I gave him the same advice as I would anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
GET THE HELL OUT no one has the right to hit, punch, scratch or threaten you EVER. After smelling the alcohol on his wife's breath and finding she has a mental disorder and would rather self medicate than get help that should tell you that she won't change. Now matter how hard you wish someone would change it doesn't happen people don't change. I don't understand especially why a man would put up with this kind of abuse. What does this type of behavior do to the children that can see and hear the fights and know mommy or daddy drinks to much ?
One in five adult Americans lived with an alcoholic while growing up. Child and adolescent psychiatrists know these children are at greater risk for having emotional problems than children whose parents are not alcoholics. Alcoholism runs in families, and children of alcoholics are four times more likely than other children to become alcoholics. Most children of alcoholics have experienced some form of neglect or abuse.
A child in such a family may have a variety of problems:
Guilt. The child may see himself or herself as the main cause of the mother's or father's drinking.
Anxiety. The child may worry constantly about the situation at home. He or she may fear the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured, and may also fear fights and violence between the parents.
Embarrassment. Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home. The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.
Inability to have close relationships. Because the child has been disappointed by the drinking parent many times, he or she often does not trust others.
Confusion. The alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry, regardless of the child's behavior. A regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, does not exist because bedtimes and mealtimes are constantly changing.
Anger. The child feels anger at the alcoholic parent for drinking, and may be angry at the non-alcoholic parent for lack of support and protection.
Depression. The child feels lonely and helpless to change the situation.
Although the child tries to keep the alcoholism a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults, or friends may sense that something is wrong. Child and adolescent psychiatrists advise that the following behaviors may signal a drinking or other problem at home:
Failure in school; truancy
Why do people think its better for people to stay with these alcoholics or abusive spouses? It seems alcohol and abuse go hand in hand but this guy won't leave his wife and women wont' leave their husbands because it better for the children ?
ONLY IF YOU WANT YOUR KIDS IN THERAPY
Bitch1 says............ This happens far more then most people even release. As Bitch1 explained about her domestic call last night, how many times is it a given that the female is the "victim" of domestic violence.
Men........ Unite, speak out, seek counseling, and leave the abusive spouse. You will not be looked at as a wimp, but a strong man for not taking ABUSE......... It is abuse, no two ways about it. Times are a changing.
I for one was a "survivor" of domestic violence........... take the post above and just insert she for he....... No one was going to believe a Chicago Cop, that is in an "elite" unit, with special training took all this crap from her VERY educated and SPECIAL husband.......... And he played that card......As it was explained excellently in the comment below for one who served for our country and did a " specialized job". It seems inplausable. BUT it ISNT............. It can happen to anyone............ ANYONE........ The first time they strike you, the first time they become abusive, get out, because it is only going to get worse, never better. It is just prolonging the agony of defeat and their triumph of picking wings off a fly.......
Sociopath's have NO conscience. They feed off of you...... They snare you like a spider in a web, they learn your strengths and weaknesses and then play off the weakness to keep you there as their personal play toy.......... Year's of therapy will help, the scars always remain.
Peace to all.